Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done

Hola Todos!

 

It is true that when it rains, it pours. Especially here in Panama. While it has not rained in Puerto for almost three weeks I have come into contact with rain of a different kind. Suddenly the hardships have just kind of piled themselves on. I am still here in Puerto and with the same companion which is fine. To be honest this week I really came to realize how much I love my companion. She is a good sound board and she also knows how to keep going when things are hard which is what we needed personally and as a companion this week.

 

Many who know me know that I express my thoughts and feelings better through writing and so I took the lesson the Lord talk this week and wrote a poem. It is the first peoem I have written since the MTC so no one laugh okay... my companion scolded me for not writign it in Spanish... maybe before I go home I will be comfortabe in Spanish to do so... anyway.. here is the poem.. I hope you all like it...

 

I stood before our Father

In a distant Heavenly Home

Bidding my goodbyes

Before His Mighty throne

 

I knew the hardships I would face

And all that was to come

There was nothing else to say except

Thy will, not mine, be done

 

A young Virgin Mother

Holds her newborn Son

She too had told the angel

Thy will not mine be done

 

A man we know as Peter

Responded to the One

Who I invited Him to fish for men

Thy will, not mine, be done

 

Every day I wear my tag

And walk beneath the sun

I accepted this call to serve

Thy will, not mine, be done

 

Yet today I feel the pain

Of those who cannot see

All that the Creator

Knows that they can be

 

And I do not want for me

What my God desires

Because I feel the flames

Of the refiners fires

 

I share with Him my heart

But He feels so far away

And angry I do wonder

If Hes hearing what I say

 

Because he seems so distant

And the love I once did feel

Is only just a dream

This moment that I kneel

 

The tears they stain my face

For I know my pride has won

I do not want to say

My will, not thine, be done

 

Then I remember in the Garden

Christ who knelt alone

Bleeding for my sins

Thy will, not thine, be done

 

If He who suffered just for me

and felt my every pain

Can accept the will of God

I too can do the same

 

And though it may seem long

The race Im called to run

I can hear hear Him at the end

Well done, my child, well done

 

I have such a strong testimony of the love of our Savior. Of His desires for us to achive all that is good and righteous and sweet. He may not give us what we want... but He gives us exactly what we need so that we can grow and learn and be better. Our purposeon this earth is to become like Him and our Father in Heaven and the only way we can do that is kneeling with Him for a momwent in Gethsemane and walking a few cross laden steps toward Calvarly. I know that the trials and the difficulties, the afflictions and the pain, help to know Him better because it is in these moments of confusion and pain that I have felt Him that much closer.

 

 This week I had to make an effort every day to keep up and go out and work. Tuesday was not successful because my companion ended up sick and sleeping the whole day. I spent a lot of time on my knees... praying for help.. for comofrt and peace nd understanding. Somet imes I wonder if I share these weak moments with you guys but thats okay. I can say that God answers these prayers in many ways.. in some ways I am still waiting for an answer but I know that God will not leave me alone. I recieved a blessing from my District leader in which he blessed me with every thing necessary to keep going.. despite the pain... despite the frustration... God is never far away... we just have to look at the little miracles...

 

This week we went up to a part of our area that is really far way.... people had not been there for years and so a lot of people thought we were Jehovahs witnesses... we found a 21 year old girl that is living with a 47 year old guy... she wants to get baptized but does not want to get married and we explained to her that she has to either get married or separate from him.. we will see what happens with her... I know the Gospel has the power to change hearts and lives and she is not an exception. We will see what happens.

 

We also found a family that has seen a lot of miracle in their lives... they have a strong faith in God and the best part is that the couple is married. We taught them about Joseph Smith and you could see in their eyes that they felt the Spirit. I told my companion that I felt like if we gave them a Book of Mormon and they read it... they would be converted.. they are prepared... we just need to work with them...

 

Also this week an investigator is her baptism when she was a baby was valid. IN the moment it occurred to be to try and avoid that answer but I remember that sciprutre in Doctrine and Covenants that says we should not fear to say the things that God puts into our mind and heart. So I looked at her and said... the truth is no hermana... and the spirit was so strong as I explained why... she did not accept a baptisimal date but she said that if she really felt she should be baptized she would do it. We left her thinking over those things and we are going to go back tomorrow. If nothing else I could feel that God was satisifed that I had not let my fears get in thte way of teaching the truth. I know that is the ony way that the Spirit can touch the hearts of the people. If we are not afraid to teach what we know to be true.

 

Thats all I have for you guys right now. I love you all so much. I love this work and while this was a hard week there were also plenty of miracles. One of our recent converts shared with us the dream that she had which convinced her to be baptized. She said in her dream Christ appeared to her... full of light and dressed in white.. and told her taht she needed to find the church that would teach the fullness of the Gospel... and that is what we teach... she told us she knew that she needed to get baptized. There is a quote that says.. teach that God is, not was... that He speaketh, not spake... by Ralph Waldo Emmerson... and that is our mission. That God is active in our lives... that He loves us.. everyone of us... that He desires all of us to return to His presence. We invite all to come unto Christ and to partake of salvation. May you all have a great week and look for opportunities to share the Gospel.

 

Love,

Hna. Wilson

Fotos

Walking on Sunshine

Hola Todos!

Well its mango season here in Panama and especially in Puerto.... and the mangos are so good... we buy them at the store almost every house we go to gives us sacks of them we are pretty happy campers... 

Alright this going to be short because I really distracted... I just found out that my companion and I do not have transfers... I guess God still wants in Puerto but I would lie if I said I still felt like I needed to be here... honestly I have felt recently that my work here is ending but I dont know... the Lord has a plan for every thing and maybe some thing will change.

We had a couple miracles this week that I wanted to share with you guys... first we found a woman named Beatrice... we were looking for a reference from members and we contacted the wrong house. Before I could even finishing introducing myself she opened the gate and let us inside. We sat down with her and started to talk and she told us that the night before she had been praying that God would send her someone that would teach her the truth... and that morning we showed up... by accident.. but we showed up. We gave her a Book of Mormon and she accepted a baptismial date for the 15th of March... she told us she was going to do every thign possible to come to church on Sunday and while she did not come I have hopes of seeing her get baptized...

The other big big miracle that we had this week is when we found an Hermana named Sara. We found her looking for another lady that we had contacted waiting for a bus and we shared the Restoration with her. She almost cried as I bore my testimony about Joseph Smith and teh First Vision. She told us tht lots of churches had come and visited... lots of people had shared their concepts of God and religion with her but she had never heard or felt what we shared with her. We testified that it was because what we shared with her was true... she accepted a fecha for the 22 of March.. she is married and has 7 kids.. five of which live with her so its a little hard for her to come to church but I am hoping that the more we teach her the more converted she will become and the mroe she will want to do what she needs to do to recieve an answer....

We also taught another sister named Mayanil... she has been Catholic all her life but we watched the Joseph Smith movie with her and she said she felt really confused because she had never felt that maybe she should change her religion until now... we left her a book of Mormon and invited her to pray and her daughters are members and call to make sure she is doing what we ask her to do so we are going to go visit her on Tuesday and see how things are going... 

Just so you guys can laugh... we met a woman this week named Navidad.. in English that means... Christmas.. so I asked her what day of the year she was born and she said in December. I had a relaly hard time not laughing but she is going to take lessons from the elders because she lives in their area... 

We also had a conference this week with President Amado.. he is the area 70 in Central America and has a really strong spirit and I learned so much... among them was that we need to be full time missionaries... all of our time, thoughts, feelings, and energy should be directed toward the work and I am hoping I can do a better job at that... 

Anyway, thats all I have for you guys for now.. know that I love you all... tht I know that this is the work of the Lord and that He is at theh ead of it... I am hoping and praying for help to accept His will always.... until next week...

Love, 

Hna. Wilson

Jesus Take The Wheel

Hola Todas!

So this week in our District Meeting my district used the phrase from the song by Carrie Underwood to talk about how we hav eto rely on the Lord.... I really like it and it is definitely the best way to describe my week.

Jesus take the wheel... take it from my hands... because I cant do this on my own.... 

Really I have felt like this these past few weeks... I dont know if its because my work in this area is coming to an end or what but I have just really felt like its all I can do to plea to God at night to just help me get through every day... to look for the people that are prepared to recieve the Gospel and to follow the spirit when I feel the promptings... 

This week I got really sick from the water here Puerto....  the nurse told me I had a virus or a parasit eor some thing.... I had a fever and had to take medication and every thing... it was not a fun experience and lets just say that yesterday I finally felt completely normal health wise.

The most spiritual experience that we had this past week was with a 17 year old girl named Iris. We were teaching her and her sister about the Restoration and her sister was asking all these questions about Joseph Smith. Suddenly my companion says some thing like... do you guys have a DVD player... and they said yes so we ended up watching the Joseph Smith movie with them to explain the First Vision and every thing. After the movie Iris was almost in tears as she told us she could not explain how she felt. I was so sad we did not have a Book of Mormon to give to her and she and her sister have not been home since that day so one of our priorities is to get her a book of Mormon fast... she did not come to church but I think its because there is opposition from her family.... pray for her please... so that she can have the blessings of the Gospel in her life.

We also found a family this week. Family Sedeño... I dont know how things will go with them but they are a family of 7.. 5 of which can get baptized and so we are going to work with them. My companion said she did not feel like they were that interested with them but I felt some thing special with tem so we will see what happenes with them also... 

Abdiel, our 19 year old convert who has not gone to church in forever because of work, came to church yesterday. It was awesome... and he also gave the closing prayer which was also awesome... he is going to serve a mission I think... if he can just break up with his 17 year odl girlfriend who is super possesive and jealous... we will see what happens with that....

This P Day we are staying close to home... spending it with neighbors in which some are members and some are not... it should be a relaxing but enjoyable PDay...

Anyway... this week I gave it all to Him... I know that He is the one thats in charge. That every thing happens in His time and in His way and I can pray and ask and keep working and the miracles will come. I love My Savior so much. Its why I am here. To find thos ewho are looking... even if they do not know what they are looking for. Transfers are coming... this time next week I should hav ean idea of whats happening and I will let you know. I am praying to go to Volcan with Hna. Chavez if possible but it is always the will of the Lord... The church is true. This is His work. I cannot think of anywhere else I would rather be or any thing else I would rather be doing. Love you all! Until next week!

Hna. Wilson

Its A Small World After All

Hola Todos

So I wanted to start out this email with some thing really funny that happened a few weeks and I just forogt to share.. sorry! So we shared the branch here in Puerto with Elders and rigfht now both of the Elders are gringos... my poor companion is the only Latin missionary but I think she enjoys it. Anyway, one of the Elders is Elder Willis... we had talked before and he told me that before his mission he studied at BYU but we did not talk specifically about classes or any thing. The true is.. I felt like I had met him before... like a familiarity.. but I thoughtmaybe I had just seen him campus or some thing.

Anyway, we were at lunch on day... the four of us.. and Hna. Silvera was asking Elder Willis what he had studied before his mission. Hetold her that he had just taken general classes to decide what he liked... like Archaeology... and so I asked him... who was your teacher and he told me short and a weird and I said.. when did you take it... and he got this weird look on his face and all of the sudden hes says... its you! 

And in that way we discovered.. after two months of sharing a branch here in Puerto... that he and I sat together... three days a week.. for an hours... in a class at BYU... and we did not recognize one another... so we laughed for a while about that and now my companion teases me all the time about that.. but anyway... I hope that put a smile on your face.

It was a really difficult week for us in the fact that no one wanted any thing... no one came to church.. except for Hno. Octavior who taught Priesthood and one of our other recent converts. It has been kind of discouraging but I am hoping that htis week we will see the miracles. 

this week I find myself in Volcan with Hna. Chavez.. only for P Day... so that is a blessing.. and its cold... for me.. I think its like 70 degrees... its so nice... 

I just wanted to share a miracle with you guys... so this past Friday.. I had to stay in the house for like three hours because my foot hurt so bad because it was so hot... so we stayed in and I iced my foot and kept it elevated and so when we left in the afternoon I was frustrated because we had stayed in and when we went to our planned lessons everyone rejected us and so we were walking int he street and i saw a family sitting on their porch. My companion was walking way ahaead but I felt super strongly that we should talk to them and so I walked over andstarted talking. Eventually my companion noticed and came back and the woman named Karen let us in. 

We shared the Restoration with her and she told us thatwhile we taught she had felt peace and we testified that it was the spirit witnessing to her that we we were teaching was true. We invited her to be baptized and she said tht she did not want to make the decision still because its a big decision and she wants to be sure but it was one of the sweeter moments I have felt in a long time because I could feel the spirit confirming to me that I did the right thing....

And so it is those little things that keep me going. I have discouraged lately but I am doing my best to pick myself up and keeping working... As Dory would say it.. just keep swimming... so here we are... and we are just going to keep walking and keeping talking to people hoping that someone will let us in.

I love this work. I love this Gospel. I love all the experiences I am having... the good, the hard,and the interesting. I know that God loves us and for that reason I have come here to Panama to share that love with people who are looking for it. I love you all so much and will talk to you next week.

Love, 

Hna. Wilson

Set, Camera, Lessons!

Hola a Todos!

So this week ws a really good week. We taught 45 lessons which is the most I have taught in a long time. 11 fo those were with members and so we are trying to work harder in that. We have been working wtih a lot of inactive families that have family members who are not members and we are still watiing to see the success that we know will come from that... it is just a little slower because we are working with people who had a testimony once and for some reason have forgotten it.. 

We went with the guy that wants to marry me... he did not come to church this week and told us that his brother in law does not approve of us coming aroudn the house because he is Hindu and it offends him so now we have to look for another way to visit him... but in the lesson after we sang the hymn he was all... Hna. Wilson you sing so beautifully.. I was so uncomfortabe... but the elders were there and so at the very least we were not by ourselves... who realy knows if he will get baptized but I believe that is possible... as always.. he just has to come to church.

I had divisions this week with one of the sisters leaders... Hna. Gonzales from Gautemala... she asked me if I wanted to train next transfer and I told her I would do what God wants me to do so maybe I will stay here in Puerto training... we only have three weeks to wait and see... who really knows... my only desire is that befofe my mission ends I can be with Hna. Chavez again... I know that if it is Gods will it will happen... in the mean time I am trying to lift where I stand as they say and work hard.

One of the funnier moments of the week was when we contacted... by accident... the cousin of the president of the branch.... he is super Catholic... like literally a practicing Catholic and ended up teaching us about how we are the salt of the earth and a light to the world.. we are going back in two weeks and its are turn to teach so that should be an interesting experience.

To end, I contacted a house this week because it was painted the favorite colors of Hna. Chavez and for that we found a family that is really great... they accepted fechas so we will see how they progress this week and hopefully they come to church. 

Sorry that my English is so weird. I am writing people in Spanish in other emails and I am stressed for time so sorry but just know that I love you guys so much and the church is true. Until next week. Pray always. Be obedient. And keep on keepin on. 

A Baptism, A Marriage Proposal, and a Four Hour Walk

Hola todos!

So the title of my email pretty muchs sums up the great week that I had here in Puerto. It is the strangest area I have ever been in but it is also one of my favorites... it is such a rewarding place because everyone told me when I came things like it was a dead area, that I was not going to baptize, and that everyone is crazy. Well the last one might be true but the first two definitely are not.

First we went and visited a Hno. named Eduardo.. he has been a member for twenty some thing years and has been with his wife for fifty.. she is not a member and has only ever listened to elders. She will be around starting the 16th so we are hoping to find her at home and visit her.. maybe she will baptism numero 2 for the sisters her ein Puerto. But his man has such a strong testimony. When he offered the closing prayer basically all he said was.. Heavenly FAther... I just cant thank you enough for your church and for the sisters that came to visit me.. he learned to read and write through sisters in the church and he is one of the most humble and grateful men I have ever met... we are praying for the baptism of his wife Noemis when she comes back from Boquete the 16th...

We had a really high church attendance this week.. well high for Puerto.. it was 55.. which is awesome... we are praying to see 70 in church by the end of the change which means we still hav esome work to do.. but it is so great to the branch growing. We had the privielege of hearing testimoniews from almost all of our recent converts.. it was really special and the President of the Branch was really happy with every thing.

Another miracle in Church was a little girl and her uncle and sister. Family Tomas... they live supedr far away and cant come that often.. but this Sunday they walked to church.. They started walking at six in the morning so that they could arrive to church no later than ten.. they walked for four hours to go to church so I never want to hear from anyone that they dont go to church because its to far.. the 11 lyear olad girl told me that she wants to get baptized but she is worried that she will get baptized and not be able to go to church after... we are going to take a two hour bus ride to go visit them this week.. if they can walk to churcdh we can take a day to visit them..

The last miracle of the week was of course seeing the baptism of Hno. Octavio and swee his confirmation on Sunday. He is so happy. He finished the Book of Mormon the day before his baptism and when he shared his testimony he swaid... in 1966... I thought I had found the Lord.. but now I know... that I really have found Him.. I cried.. it was so special.. and we are going to talk to him this week about the priesthood and every thing.. it really what this is all about.. how great shall be your joy if ye shall bring but one soul unto me.. he is a very special soul... here are some pictures from the baptism...

To end on a funny note.. I curled my hair for the baptism and let my companion do my make up because hse wanted to.. so later when we went and visited a less active we instead found her borther and he asked me if I could marry a Panimian... I told him no and we started to leave.. out of no where he yells.. I want to get baptized.. so of course we went back and he accepted a baptisimal date for the 22 of February... we went back to visit his sister.. who is one of our recent converts that night and taught him about the First Vision. He told us that he knew it was serious and we are going to go visit him again this week with a member. The funnier part happened when we were walking home after the lesson with him and he called us and said.. hermanas.. I have a friend here who wants to get baptize with me... and I said.. great just remember htat in order to get baptized you have to come to church.. we will see you both on Tuesday.. I dont know if its true that his friend wants to get baptized but we will see what happens with that.. at the very least I hope that put a smile on your face today.

Well thats all for now.. I know there are mor ethings tha happened this week but I cannot remember... we are working in a very different way this transfer then I ever have my whole mission.. we almost never street contact.. instead we are hunting the less active and inactive members and teaching their family members.. we are also asking references from everyone.. I am hoping we will begin to see the fruits of our efforts very soon.

I love you all so much.. thisd work is amazing.. I loving it.. I cannot believe ten months have already come and gone.. I know this is the Lords work and that the Church is true... Jesus Christ lives and he loves us... remember to pray always and keep on keepin on.

Love you All!

Hna. Wilson