Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done

Hola Todos!

 

It is true that when it rains, it pours. Especially here in Panama. While it has not rained in Puerto for almost three weeks I have come into contact with rain of a different kind. Suddenly the hardships have just kind of piled themselves on. I am still here in Puerto and with the same companion which is fine. To be honest this week I really came to realize how much I love my companion. She is a good sound board and she also knows how to keep going when things are hard which is what we needed personally and as a companion this week.

 

Many who know me know that I express my thoughts and feelings better through writing and so I took the lesson the Lord talk this week and wrote a poem. It is the first peoem I have written since the MTC so no one laugh okay... my companion scolded me for not writign it in Spanish... maybe before I go home I will be comfortabe in Spanish to do so... anyway.. here is the poem.. I hope you all like it...

 

I stood before our Father

In a distant Heavenly Home

Bidding my goodbyes

Before His Mighty throne

 

I knew the hardships I would face

And all that was to come

There was nothing else to say except

Thy will, not mine, be done

 

A young Virgin Mother

Holds her newborn Son

She too had told the angel

Thy will not mine be done

 

A man we know as Peter

Responded to the One

Who I invited Him to fish for men

Thy will, not mine, be done

 

Every day I wear my tag

And walk beneath the sun

I accepted this call to serve

Thy will, not mine, be done

 

Yet today I feel the pain

Of those who cannot see

All that the Creator

Knows that they can be

 

And I do not want for me

What my God desires

Because I feel the flames

Of the refiners fires

 

I share with Him my heart

But He feels so far away

And angry I do wonder

If Hes hearing what I say

 

Because he seems so distant

And the love I once did feel

Is only just a dream

This moment that I kneel

 

The tears they stain my face

For I know my pride has won

I do not want to say

My will, not thine, be done

 

Then I remember in the Garden

Christ who knelt alone

Bleeding for my sins

Thy will, not thine, be done

 

If He who suffered just for me

and felt my every pain

Can accept the will of God

I too can do the same

 

And though it may seem long

The race Im called to run

I can hear hear Him at the end

Well done, my child, well done

 

I have such a strong testimony of the love of our Savior. Of His desires for us to achive all that is good and righteous and sweet. He may not give us what we want... but He gives us exactly what we need so that we can grow and learn and be better. Our purposeon this earth is to become like Him and our Father in Heaven and the only way we can do that is kneeling with Him for a momwent in Gethsemane and walking a few cross laden steps toward Calvarly. I know that the trials and the difficulties, the afflictions and the pain, help to know Him better because it is in these moments of confusion and pain that I have felt Him that much closer.

 

 This week I had to make an effort every day to keep up and go out and work. Tuesday was not successful because my companion ended up sick and sleeping the whole day. I spent a lot of time on my knees... praying for help.. for comofrt and peace nd understanding. Somet imes I wonder if I share these weak moments with you guys but thats okay. I can say that God answers these prayers in many ways.. in some ways I am still waiting for an answer but I know that God will not leave me alone. I recieved a blessing from my District leader in which he blessed me with every thing necessary to keep going.. despite the pain... despite the frustration... God is never far away... we just have to look at the little miracles...

 

This week we went up to a part of our area that is really far way.... people had not been there for years and so a lot of people thought we were Jehovahs witnesses... we found a 21 year old girl that is living with a 47 year old guy... she wants to get baptized but does not want to get married and we explained to her that she has to either get married or separate from him.. we will see what happens with her... I know the Gospel has the power to change hearts and lives and she is not an exception. We will see what happens.

 

We also found a family that has seen a lot of miracle in their lives... they have a strong faith in God and the best part is that the couple is married. We taught them about Joseph Smith and you could see in their eyes that they felt the Spirit. I told my companion that I felt like if we gave them a Book of Mormon and they read it... they would be converted.. they are prepared... we just need to work with them...

 

Also this week an investigator is her baptism when she was a baby was valid. IN the moment it occurred to be to try and avoid that answer but I remember that sciprutre in Doctrine and Covenants that says we should not fear to say the things that God puts into our mind and heart. So I looked at her and said... the truth is no hermana... and the spirit was so strong as I explained why... she did not accept a baptisimal date but she said that if she really felt she should be baptized she would do it. We left her thinking over those things and we are going to go back tomorrow. If nothing else I could feel that God was satisifed that I had not let my fears get in thte way of teaching the truth. I know that is the ony way that the Spirit can touch the hearts of the people. If we are not afraid to teach what we know to be true.

 

Thats all I have for you guys right now. I love you all so much. I love this work and while this was a hard week there were also plenty of miracles. One of our recent converts shared with us the dream that she had which convinced her to be baptized. She said in her dream Christ appeared to her... full of light and dressed in white.. and told her taht she needed to find the church that would teach the fullness of the Gospel... and that is what we teach... she told us she knew that she needed to get baptized. There is a quote that says.. teach that God is, not was... that He speaketh, not spake... by Ralph Waldo Emmerson... and that is our mission. That God is active in our lives... that He loves us.. everyone of us... that He desires all of us to return to His presence. We invite all to come unto Christ and to partake of salvation. May you all have a great week and look for opportunities to share the Gospel.

 

Love,

Hna. Wilson