Monday, March 10, 2014

Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done

Hola Todos!
It is true that when it rains, it pours. Especially here in Panama. While it has not rained in Puerto for almost three weeks I have come into contact with rain of a different kind. Suddenly the hardships have just kind of piled themselves on. I am still here in Puerto and with the same companion which is fine. To be honest this week I really came to realize how much I love my companion. She is a good sound board and she also knows how to keep going when things are hard which is what we needed personally and as a companion this week.
Many who know me know that I express my thoughts and feelings better through writing and so I took the lesson the Lord talk this week and wrote a poem. It is the first peoem I have written since the MTC so no one laugh okay... my companion scolded me for not writign it in Spanish... maybe before I go home I will be comfortabe in Spanish to do so... anyway.. here is the poem.. I hope you all like it...
I stood before our Father
In a distant Heavenly Home
Bidding my goodbyes
Before His Mighty throne
I knew the hardships I would face
And all that was to come
There was nothing else to say except
Thy will, not mine, be done
A young Virgin Mother
Holds her newborn Son
She too had told the angel
Thy will not mine be done
A man we know as Peter
Responded to the One
Who I invited Him to fish for men
Thy will, not mine, be done
Every day I wear my tag
And walk beneath the sun
I accepted this call to serve
Thy will, not mine, be done
Yet today I feel the pain
Of those who cannot see
All that the Creator
Knows that they can be
And I do not want for me
What my God desires
Because I feel the flames
Of the refiners fires
I share with Him my heart
But He feels so far away
And angry I do wonder
If Hes hearing what I say
Because he seems so distant
And the love I once did feel
Is only just a dream
This moment that I kneel
The tears they stain my face
For I know my pride has won
I do not want to say
My will, not thine, be done
Then I remember in the Garden
Christ who knelt alone
Bleeding for my sins
Thy will, not thine, be done
If He who suffered just for me
and felt my every pain
Can accept the will of God
I too can do the same
And though it may seem long
The race Im called to run
I can hear hear Him at the end
Well done, my child, well done
I have such a strong testimony of the love of our Savior. Of His desires for us to achive all that is good and righteous and sweet. He may not give us what we want... but He gives us exactly what we need so that we can grow and learn and be better. Our purposeon this earth is to become like Him and our Father in Heaven and the only way we can do that is kneeling with Him for a momwent in Gethsemane and walking a few cross laden steps toward Calvarly. I know that the trials and the difficulties, the afflictions and the pain, help to know Him better because it is in these moments of confusion and pain that I have felt Him that much closer.
 This week I had to make an effort every day to keep up and go out and work. Tuesday was not successful because my companion ended up sick and sleeping the whole day. I spent a lot of time on my knees... praying for help.. for comofrt and peace nd understanding. Somet imes I wonder if I share these weak moments with you guys but thats okay. I can say that God answers these prayers in many ways.. in some ways I am still waiting for an answer but I know that God will not leave me alone. I recieved a blessing from my District leader in which he blessed me with every thing necessary to keep going.. despite the pain... despite the frustration... God is never far away... we just have to look at the little miracles...
This week we went up to a part of our area that is really far way.... people had not been there for years and so a lot of people thought we were Jehovahs witnesses... we found a 21 year old girl that is living with a 47 year old guy... she wants to get baptized but does not want to get married and we explained to her that she has to either get married or separate from him.. we will see what happens with her... I know the Gospel has the power to change hearts and lives and she is not an exception. We will see what happens.
We also found a family that has seen a lot of miracle in their lives... they have a strong faith in God and the best part is that the couple is married. We taught them about Joseph Smith and you could see in their eyes that they felt the Spirit. I told my companion that I felt like if we gave them a Book of Mormon and they read it... they would be converted.. they are prepared... we just need to work with them...
Also this week an investigator is her baptism when she was a baby was valid. IN the moment it occurred to be to try and avoid that answer but I remember that sciprutre in Doctrine and Covenants that says we should not fear to say the things that God puts into our mind and heart. So I looked at her and said... the truth is no hermana... and the spirit was so strong as I explained why... she did not accept a baptisimal date but she said that if she really felt she should be baptized she would do it. We left her thinking over those things and we are going to go back tomorrow. If nothing else I could feel that God was satisifed that I had not let my fears get in thte way of teaching the truth. I know that is the ony way that the Spirit can touch the hearts of the people. If we are not afraid to teach what we know to be true.
Thats all I have for you guys right now. I love you all so much. I love this work and while this was a hard week there were also plenty of miracles. One of our recent converts shared with us the dream that she had which convinced her to be baptized. She said in her dream Christ appeared to her... full of light and dressed in white.. and told her taht she needed to find the church that would teach the fullness of the Gospel... and that is what we teach... she told us she knew that she needed to get baptized. There is a quote that says.. teach that God is, not was... that He speaketh, not spake... by Ralph Waldo Emmerson... and that is our mission. That God is active in our lives... that He loves us.. everyone of us... that He desires all of us to return to His presence. We invite all to come unto Christ and to partake of salvation. May you all have a great week and look for opportunities to share the Gospel.
Hna. Wilson

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