Monday, April 14, 2014

No Work and All Play Makes Jack a Sad Boy

Hola Todos!
So this week was definitely one of the more interesting I have had in my mission. My companion did not feel well Tuesday, Friday and Saturday so we did not leave the house before five any of these days. On Wednesday we had a training with he APs which was great because the theme was: open your mouth. So we went to like a hospital and contacted there for three hours which was great because everyone is sitting around doing nothing and so I enjoyed takling to tons of different people even if practically none of them live in my area.
On Thursday we did a service project in Boquete. It involved cutting down trees and hauling them to a pile. It was cold there because its up in the moutains and I honesly felt like I was back home to some degree. It was fun and I liked it because it gave me a chance to really release a lot of the pent up stress that has been building up
Basically from there we were in the house all week. To be honest last Monday, after I talked to you guys I went home, laid down in bed and just put myself to thinking. My mission president had given me advice to set little goals for every day in the week so that I could have things to focus on. He told me that I should make a promse to myself to not be disoucragted but to b honest.. in that moment.. I felt like I could just lay in bed all day every day that week and not care. Then I got a phone call from a sister who left the area when I came.  She told me how she had felt the exact same way when she left Puerto. She gave me advice and encouragement and the phone call really was just an answer to my prayers.
The biggest spiritual experience was what happened on Friday. Friday was definitely my lower day and in the morning I prayed that God would send me someone that I could confide in... that would understand that I was dying to get out and work and be a missionary. I also prayed that because we were not going to go out and work that He would just help me sleep. I slept for awhile, woke up at 3 with the thought that I should share with one of my recent converts the talk that President Monson gave last October entitled: never wil I leave nor forsake you...

So I sat down and read it... and then I read the words of a blind, deaf man at the point of death who said... My Heavenly Father has been good to me... and I heard the words in my mind... Have I not been good to you? It struck me so hard that I started to cry... because the truth was that God has always been good to me. Before I came out on my mission I prayed ferverently that the biggest convert of my mission would not be anyone I met in Panama... but that it would be me. I could see in that moment that God was taking me up on my desire... that He was giving me these experiences not because they were easy or desirable but because they would help me to know better, and become more like, Him.

I continued reading the talk and I came across a part that says: Only the Master knows the profundidad of our trials, our pain, and our suffering. Only He offers us eternal peace in times of adversity. Only He can touch our tortured souls with words of comfort. Then it hit me. God had already sent me someone who understood what I felt. Over 2000 years ago He had sent His Son.
At the beginning of last week I had decided that I was going to give it my all. I have been in Puerto now for almost 4 and half months... thats like 18 weeks if we are talking specifics.. and every week I felt like I have just given every thing and I have not felt that I have seen much of the fruits. This last week I had planned to give my soul. What I did not know was that my all was more about patience and long suffering than finding new investigators and inviting people to be baptized. It has been one of the hardest weeks as far as the work is concerned. But for me it has been one of great growth and change. I know my Savior lives because I felt Him close to me many times this week. I do not know what is going to happen in transfers but I do know that every thing is going to be okay because my Heavenly Father has been good to me.

I love you all so much... I know that this work is the work of the Lord and it goes on boldly, nobley and independently. I know that God answers our prayers and that He molds us into better people through our afflictions and trials. May we be open to the hard, the difficult and the challenging. May we embrace the lessons that God desires to teach us. May we look for the rainbow in the rain but may we enjoy the rain also.
Until next week when I will let you know where I go and with who!
All My Love,
Hna. Wilson

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