Como Un Niño Pequeño

Hola a Todos!

So I think God gives us experiences to humble us. To mold us make us submissive like litle children. Like it says in Mosiah 3:19 that we must put off the natural man and become as a little child.. submissive.. meek.. humbly... easily entreated... and honestly thats what I think Heavenly Fathers goal with me is this change... I guess I should just all tell you about what happened this week so you understand. 

Monday night we went with the twins and we went with their teacher from YW. It was a super spiritual lesson and the twins agreed to get baptized this weekend. We were elated! We went and celebrated with milkshakes. The next day we went and bought every thing for the baptism.. stuff to do programs and we were going to decorate glass bottles and put the baptisimal water in it after they got baptized. Some thing that they could have forever. So bought those and decorated them and put a scripture about baptism on them. We had all the talks lined up... and my companion and I were practicing a musical number to sing at their baptism. Then on Wednesday... they were not ther efor our scheduled appoitment. So at 730 we went by and taught them the last lesson. We had finished and asked them when they could do the interview. One of them went to ask their mother and she came out and said that they could not get baptized this weekend because the mom said no. It took all my will power not to break down in tears in front of them. When we got out of the lesson my companion and I walked home in silence and both cried. 

The next few days were really hard because we had to tell everyone that the baptism was actually not going to happen. I imagined it is somewhat similar to how it would feel to be left at the altar on your wedding day. Then on Sunday we went back and visited them. We watched the hour long Joseph Smith movie with them and invited them to prepare for the 20th of September... they said they would ask their mother. And then we shared our testimonies about the truthfulness of the Gospel. It has been a long time since the Spirit has moved me to tears... well not a long time but it has been a while since I have cried in front of the investigators because of the spirit. Anyway... I think they could see how much we loved them... and they wanted to get baptized before I leave.. it just all depends on the mom. 

We got rejected a lot this week... I think we are just getting to know all the Evangelicals in Volcan... who let us in but when we try to put a teaching appoitment to come back they dont want anything. One lady even said... I can accept every thing... except Joseph Smith.. and then she started ranting about how we should not esteem one man above another... and really she just wante dto argue so we left.

We got a new ward mission leader. He is young... like the same age and me. Has never serve a mission and is terrified of his new calling. But we are all confident that he will rise to the ocassion. 

You guys all know that I wrote poetry so here is a poem that I wrote this week. My companion gets migraines when she is heavily stressed and this week was a really stressful one so on Thursday we ended up staying in the house and while she slept I wrote a poem. I wanted to share it with all of you. 

My Uncarried Cross

My tired shoulders ache

My back so very sore

By the time that we

Walk through the blessed door

Some times I feel so weak

That I do nothing right

Why did the Lord call me

To fight a soldiers fight

To my knees I slowly fall

Next to my well made bed

The tears they stain my cheeks

As I gently bow my head

The cross, I say to Him

Is just too hard for me

I dont want it anymore

Oh Father, cant thou see?

I cannot do the things

That thou thinks I can

How could all this pain

Be part of thy great plan?

That is all I say

Before I fall asleep

And I dream a dream

To profound and deep

I am in a garden

In the midst of night

Somethings heavy in the air

The moon, she hides her light

Not too far away

I see a man upon the ground

I do my very best

Not to make a sound

Father, He whispers softly

Its just too hard for me

I can hear the quiver

Of a voice in agony

I do not want to drink

The cup in front of me

The pain it is too much

Please, Im begging thee

I tightly close my eyes

And hide my face in shame

For the words that left my lips

Had been the very same

Then the scene does change

Surrounded by a throng

There are shouts for death

The smell of blood is strong

Then I see The Man

From the night before

He had begged for less

But God had asked for more

I break through the crowd

As He falls beneath the cross

He bows His head below

The taunts the crowd does toss

Please I beg a man

Please just let me in

The cross He does carry

He carries for my sin

But then the scene is changed

For a second time

And we are on a hill

Three crosses in a line

I walk to the center

Where my Lord is hung

Guilt it fills my heart

I know that for me, its done

Father please forgive them

The humble cry does come

Please accept the offering

Of Thy Only Son

Then my Lord does die

Hanging on the cross

The earth trembles in he grief

At Her Creators loss

Suddenly the sun is bright

As it stings my face

And I know that I am in

His final resting place

Then I see my Lord

Standing, dressed in white

And the sobs escape

The tears I cannot fight

He stands in mighty power

And the marks are plain to see

I kneel before the One

Who suffered just for me

Your cross, He softly says

On your shoulders will never rest

So long as you are worhty

Of the name across your chest

And often it is hard

It also was for me

But you are not alone

With you Ill always be

And if the weight seems heavy

All you have to do

I remember that my cross

I carried just for you

So go and feed my sheep

And when you feel the pain

Know that you can never lose

More than you will gain

Go forward strong and brave

Never looking back

And I wilol make the difference

For all that you do lack

And when you have done

All youre called to do

Know that here I will be waiting

With open arms for you

We have a couple of positive people that we are working with. The challenge as always is getting them to come to church. Just pray for us this week that we can find more people to church who have the desire to accept the Gospel and come to church.

The time is drawing to a close but my testimony only strengthens  about this Gospel and the truthfulness of this church. I love my Savior and I love all of you. Until next week.

Love, 

Hna. Wilson