Hola Mi Familia y Mis Amigos,
Bueno... it is a beautiful Monday morning here in the city of Panama... oh yeah President Carmack sent me to the city on Friday... it was about a four hour bus ride alone... with my crutches and my suitcases.. it was definitely an adventure to be completely frank.. I am in an area of the city called Marcasa with a new companion namded Hna. Castro.. she is from Ecuador and like almost all of my other companions does not speak any English.. which is not a problem.. I prefer it to tell you the truth... I can feel my Spanish getting better all the time... I can understand every thing that is said to me and communicate any thing I want to communicate... I will admit I need to study the grammar more but it has been a crazy month.. i hope to be more diligent this week...
So the apartment that we live is probably one of the most ghetto places I have ever seen... we have to climb four flights of stairs to get there.. which is an experience with crutches... let me tell you.. and the apartment itself looks incredibly old.. I will send pictures in another email... the roof leaks in every room when it rains and yesterday when Hna. Castro and I were sitting in the front room talking a rat came crawling in through the window and so we went into the bedroom and planned for today... I saw the same rat again when I was talking with Hna. Chavez... the pluses are that its fairly good sized.. has running water and electricity... the ants and the lizards come free of charge...
Okay on to things a little more full of sunshine... Conference was so wonderful... to be honest when Elder Holland was talking there was a moment when i felt he was talking directly to me.... I would have cried if I was not in a room full of people... it has been a hard month of feeling inadequate and uneeded in the work of the Lord here in Panama... the inspired words of Elder Holland soothed my aching heart and helped me to know that there is a balm in Gilead...He said...
whatever your struggle... trust in God.. hope in his love... we must remember our broken vessels are in the loving hands of the Potter... live by faith... and hold fast to hope...
the other talk that really spoke to me was the talk by the prophet... to be completely honest I felt like someone dying of thirst and God was giving me the water that my soul yearned for... the living water of His love... and I drank deeply and was filled with the knowledge that He knows... and He hears... and He is there... always...
I read another article recently that struck me that I wanted to share with you guys... it was from teh May 2011 conference...the talk by Elder Paul V. Johnson... he said...
At times it may seem that our trials are focused on areas of our lives and parts of our souls with which we seem least able to cope... yet not one of our trials and tribulations we face is beyond our limits, because we have help from the Lord...
I have felt so broken and so alone... forgotten and abandoned at times these past four weeks... I have felt like God has stretched me to my limits just to see how much I could endure.. but I know... I know that He does it because He loves me... that He lets me pour out my soul in anger and frustration before He answers me... before He wipes away my tears of anguish and despair He listens... and then He teaches me about my Savior... He teaches me about love... He acquints me with the Man of Sorrows... with whose stripes I am healed... and I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel... the dawn at the end of the night... and I know... that while I may feel alone... while I may look into the frustrated eyes of a companion who was not ready for a situation like this I know that my Savior is only a plea away...
The other talks by Elder Richard J. Maynes who spoke of spiritual endurance, Elder Timothy J. Dyches who talked about how we can be made whole through the power of the atonement, and Ulisses Soares who talked about becoming meek and accepting the will of God... in all of these... I found my peace... and I found the strength to keep moving forward...Paul has said that our trials are that we might have a greater glory... perhaps God is not testing me to see if I will fail... but testing me... because He knows I can suceed...
I just want to testify to al of you that God loves us so much... He hears and He answers our prayers.. in the Relief Society session of Conference a sister talked about the tabernancle in Provo that was burned to the ground and is now a temple.. she talked about how some times God burns us to the ground with our trials... that He stretches us to the limits... many times we might ask why.. but then He comes back.. and in His own time and in His own way.. he takes us from the ashes and constructs us into beautiful temples... fit for His spirit to dwell... no trial is too hard... no road to long... nor night so dark.. that the Son of God, our Savior Jesus Christ cannot reach out and heal our hearts, soothe our souls... and teach us through our tears...
I have what I hope is my last doctor appoitment today... then begins the fours weeks of intense therapy... I know it will be hard but it is possible... all thrings are possible through God who strengthens us... I pray that none of you are worried because God is with me... I am grateful that He has given me my trials that I can learn of Him and His Son... I am grateful the patience and the strength He has taught me... I love you all so much.... you are all in my prayers... remember to be strong always and never cease to seek Him who waits for you.
Con Todo Mi Amor,
Hna. Wilson
No comments:
Post a Comment